Finding my inner whooper

Between balancing life as a mama, a wife, an errand runner, and a slave to my sewing machine, I’ve been busy. Not too busy to watch Housewives. Or to play on facebook. Not too busy to read books to MR or to make silly faces at Hutson. But definitely too busy to cook or clean. And especially too busy to workout.

As the dust bunnies collect in every corner of the house and my trips to La Parrilla and Chick-fil-A become more frequent, I have to admit, it’s time for a change. My goal is to lose this last bit of baby weight, 15 stubborn pounds to be exact. I don’t have a time line for when the weight must be off, but I do have a plan and a new gym membership to kick my butt in gear.

Last Monday, I canceled my old gym membership in favor of a brand new gym that offers cardio and strength training classes and a Kid Zone for the little ones. Shortly after joining, I mustered up the courage to participate in a few of the classes. After three days of sweat and sore muscles, I have come to a whole new appreciation for today’s modern gym; more specifically, gym attire and etiquette…

Attire: Most female members have replaced t shirts and frumpy mom shorts for sleek, black workout pants and fancy, brightly colored tank tops or sports bras.

Etiquette: Whooping (in a very high pitch voice) throughout the workout is a compliment to the instructor. The “whoopers” are usually the ones wearing the spandex workout pants and fancy tanks/sports bras. There are two types of  whoopers: the young whooper and the middle aged whooper. The young whooper carries her smart phone to class and checks it during water breaks, while sipping water from her monogrammed aluminum water bottle.  She rarely breaks a sweat, but if she does, she carries a towel in a trendy, brightly colored workout bag. The middle aged whooper is my favorite. She is insanely intense and says things like, “feel the burn” and “work it”. The middle aged whooper owns a pair of Spandex bicycle shorts and wears leather, fingerless workout gloves and Sketchers Shape Ups to get the most of her workout.

Whoppers (both young and old) are especially prevalent in the Latin Heat class (Zumba). These whoopers “whoop” no less than a dozen times, while shaking what their mama gave them to Latin techno beats. They gather on the first two rows, so that they can see themselves in the wall of mirrors.

I’ve committed the next few months to finding my inner whooper. Surely it lies within these last 15 pounds…

While I’m holding on to the last 15 pounds of baby weight, G is losing weight without trying. Over the last two months or so, he has lost 15 to 18 pounds. He’s done blood work (which thankfully turned out normal) and has scheduled an upcoming appointment with a Gastroenterologist. To add insult to injury, he has also had a pretty bad bout of food poisoning this week and is scheduled to leave on Monday for a 5 day business trip in New York. Please pray that he will feel better soon. I miss my hubby’s appetite and our weekly dates to Chic-fil-A and Mexican.

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5 Responses to Finding my inner whooper

  1. lauren says:

    We are tripping out over the ‘whoopers’. I am traumatized about the curtains. And we’re praying big prayers for G!

  2. Ashley Sassaman says:

    Girl, if we lived nearby we would be best buds! You are hilarious (aside from being super talented)! I’ve always wanted to be a whooper too… but I still mostly wear t-shirts and Nike shorts to the gym, never make-up, and I find a spot in the back, by the door. Maybe I’ll whoop one day too, and when I do, I’ll think of you!

  3. Bethany says:

    Crack. Me. Up. The whoopers at my gym are the ladies who dress like Jane Fonda. You know, they sport the sweat bands, leg warmers and clothes they’ve had since 1985. They always make me laugh and amaze me with their energy because I’m usually doing everything I can not to fall out!

  4. clare says:

    i love your post!! you will lose it, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. it is so tough!! i got almost down, about 7 lbs away and now I will start all over again. It feels like a never ending battle! whoop, whoop!

  5. Lane Hammack says:

    Too funny. I never have been able to bring myself to “whoop” but good luck to ya! Miss seeing you, and glad everyone and most things survived the fire incident.

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